Weight 204.6

                Today was a horrible day for me.  Surprisingly it is not because of my weight.  I am not worried about being 204.6.  I know it is mostly because I eat late and it was maple bacon at that.  I knew what the consequence would be but I still wanted it.
                 Anyway my day was bad because I found out I didn't get that promotion I wanted at work.  At my job people do not get promoted because they are good for the job or the most qualified.  It's about how much the top managers like you.  Don't get me wrong.  The top managers like me.  One of the top managers if the wife of my current manager.  I shall just call him Mister.  Mister is a good manager.  But he tries too hard to make everyone happy and ends up throwing certain people under the bus ( me being one )  His wife, omg this women is scary.  She is nice but she is very controlling.  We believe her to be the man in the relationship.  I think she is what held back the other manager back from hiring me.
                This man told me I know what I want, I am a go getter, I think like him, my speech was clear, I made perfect eye contact, I'm honest, great attention to details, great customer service skills, over 25 customer comment cards and my managers have nothing bad to say about me.  Okay so why did I not get the job?????  "Oh I think you need more time in your current department.  Plus you will need to cross train in my department.  I don't want anyone here to think you do not deserve this job.  You have to stack everything in your favor so when you apply the next time you will be more likely to get the job."
               That right there told me the top managers in out store told him they were not comfortable with me being promoted.  They gonna tell me I need more time in my department and yet they hired some guy to that department I applied for when he was only with the company for 5 1/2 months.  Go fuck yourselfs.  I have been with the company for 3 fuckin years and in my current department for 9 months.  I know it was upper manager I just know it.

               I am a good worker.  I learn my area inside and out and I do a very good.  I know it can be like this at all jobs but I am mostly upset because I really needed that pay increase, especially after my car accident.  I know Mister's wife is doing it to keep me in her husband's department but fuck you bitch.  You get to sit at your desk with your cushioned chair and great pay.  I am trying to make something of myself and you are shitting on me.  I dislike that most of my managers I have worked for see that I am a good worker but they try to hold on to me.  Therefore holding me back.
              I took this shit pretty hard.  I mean really hard.  I feel like I shut down.  Like I wasn't as nice to customers and I didn't feel motivated to do my job.  Why bother?  Nothing appears to be coming from me doing a good job.  So I may not be as nice at work now.  I am making the shots.  Mister can fire me just suck it the fuck up.
              Time of the month is here so my weight numbers may be looking a little fucked up for the next week or so.  My t.o.m is strange due to my mirena. Love that birth control but boy it is an ass sometimes.  Well I am off to take out some of this anger on the stair stepper or maybe the treadmill.  I haven't decided yet. 

          
  Oh and most of all I didn't cut!  I almost came close to it today so close but I managed to beat it.