To be thin or not to be thin

            I have been thinking about this for a while now.  I am sure that some people who have read my blog or just started reading it have taken notice that not all the girls in the pictures I post are thin.  Some are curvy, some are fit and some are thin.  I believe that some people look better thin while some look better with curves.  I often wonder what will I look like thin, curvy or fit?
            I have been curvy so I know what I look like at that.  I do have to say the men loved my curves and it was so nice to be wanted.  Of course then I had a few that called me fat, overweight, why aren't you thin like your sister.  I have been a size 13/14 for as long as I can remember.  I do remember when I was a size 8 and I was 12.  After that size I went to a 13/14 completely skipped 11/12.
           Anyway I have been thinking today I want to see what I could look like if I was to get thin thin.  I mean thin with small boobs and a gap between my legs which I have never had.  For those of you who have not seen my before picture check it out.  My boobs are 42DDD and I hate them.  If I could give some of it away I totally would.  Back to the topic at hand I think I am one of those people who could look thin, curvy, or fit.  Fit I am little worried about since I have a huge upper body. I am afraid being to fit will make me look like a man.  I definitely don't want that.

       This photo here to me shows a fit women.  She seems to borderline of being bikini or figure.  For those who don't know bikini is a category of fitness competitions.  The goal of bikini is to build lean feminine muscles.  I like bikini better because they have slim muscles and not bulky.  Figure is where they try to add as much muscle to their frame as possible.  No thank you.

  

           Now this photo here is my definition of curves.  I mean sometimes I want to have big butt and thick thighs.  I would say tiny waist but that is a given.  Rather I am thin, curvy or fit a tiny waist is a must.  I was not as curvy as the model photoed above but close enough with fat roles on the sides of my upper back.  I know these models are photo-shopped but still.  I want to look photo ready all the time.

           Another beautiful picture of my ideal of thin.  Mary Kate Olsen of course.  This women wears thin so freakin good!  She looked okay when she weighed more but my god when she is thin.  She looks so light, stunning, breath taking, edge cutting.  I mean those are the words that come to mind when I see thin women.       
            So anyway I just wanted to share that.  The war going on inside my head that wants to be thin sometimes or curvy or fit. What do you all think?  Do you sometimes fight to be one way one day and something different another.  Kind of annoying at times.  Since I have never be thin, a huge part of me wants to be and needs to be.